THE DREAM

I had a dream last night that I lost my father and I never had the chance to say goodbye.  So I flew home to pay my final respects and I was awakened by my dad en route to the next life and I was given a chance to say goodbye.

We walked along the beaches of the Gulf coast where we had vacationed as a family when I was a kid.  We both talked about all of the funny things that had happened to us during our lives.  He shared things about his life that he never told me while he was on earth and he told me things that he enjoyed most about watching me grow in to a young woman.  He helped me understand the importance of honoring your commitments in life and why divorce should not be an option.  He told me where he left everything so I could take care of my mother and ways I could make her happy. 

At the end of our time together, we parted ways at the front door of my childhood home and he told me he had always been proud of me and he would always love me.  I stayed at the door and watched him disappear into the night sky.

I woke up sobbing uncontrollably, feeling so saddened by the dream, which felt so real.  It was the kind of dream that takes your breath away and makes you question if it did, in fact, happen.  It occurred to me after I calmed myself just how far away I am from the people I love most in my life, and how I feel as though a part of me has been taken away from them without having been given a choice.  It’s time to go home; it’s where I belong.

(JANUARY 9, 2006—HAWAI'I)