Breathe.
Remember to breathe.
Briefly suppressing
my desire to dive
deeper
into his soul.
Losing awareness
the journey demands
while feelings of wonder well
up through my windpipe,
Trembling—
anticipating love.
The stillness of his strong
demeanor
commands my soul,
smiling,
Focused (God, those eyes),
lips melt in to mine.
Savoring the warmth
of his breath,
stained into my mouth
like the coffee of this morning
one cup changes everything.
(DECEMBER, 2019)
One day
Maybe I’ll breathe
Without
the weight of misplaced love
Drowning me.
What a shame to realize
The being who brings you the most joy
Is met with an absence
So Loud
as to destroy the notion of what fatherhood
means.
Clothed in the weight of the world
The armor of her past shields the
Temptation to dive in.
Alone is a path she knows well
And the light from within is her guide.
Forgiveness is easy to apply.
Forgetting is the voice in the
Mind that never rests.
I knew this would change my life;
I knew you would change my life.
Running away.
Disappearing
into the plush green surroundings of the farm.
I waited for this.
I waited for you.
Faded blue jeans,
Plaid button down--
orange and blue.
Vibrant like the setting sun behind the hillside.
The place where my earth meets your sky;
my soul shakes like the siding on the cabin.
The crisp, cool air—the culmination of winter.
The warmth of your breath down my cheek – my neck.
Your lips are the eternity for which I have dreamed.
Etched in my memory forever;
I knew this would not last forever
But I wanted it to be forever.
Indifferent apart from the depths of your voice,
your eyes,
your soul.
I know it’s not forever;
it’s now.
But I want it to be forever.
The illumination of the stars kisses the tops of your shoulders.
The strength of your embrace as enchanting
as the sun would rise
with the certainty of goodbye.
(SPRING, 2015)
She sees him standing by the edge
of the bar, getting another beer.
You can see the look of fear in her eyes:
his love has led to her demise.
But he doesn’t seem to care;
He doesn’t call her anymore
to help her lift herself
from the weathered, dirty floor.
All that remains are the stains of sorrow
to be swept away tomorrow
with what the patrons left behind.
His blank stare penetrates the smoky air
and the smell of defeat emerges from
the embers of her cigarette:
she finds it harder and harder to forget
the man who said he’d die without her.
Just like the love they once shared—
placed aside without a care,
like the empty glass on the bar.
As she looks up to pay the tab
she realizes that’s all she had
and he was never really standing there.
(JUNE, 2005)
Sweet serene, plush green
Slow movin’, slow speak’n
“Ya’ll ever been?”
Overlook the trailers,
cinder block stops,
houses with dust crops,
and pay attention to the
tranquility of the Tennessee,
lightly grabbing the edge of
the river bank.
Down home cookin’—
Soup beans, collard greens, mashed taters, punkin’ pie.
Grandma in her yellow-checkered apron
tellin’ stories ‘bout the young.
Grandpa on the front porch with the boys
smokin’ his pipe with his yellow-stained hands,
tellin’ stories ‘bout the War and talkin’ sports.
Never mind the mayhem inside our city limit—
we are surrounded by the setting sun,
beaming through the trees,
blanketing the grass with a deep orange haze.
All the chores are done.
The humming of the cicadas begins
and darkness is on the rise.
The summer breeze begins to blow
as Grandma and Grandpa close their eyes.
(MAY, 2005)
It’s the fear of seeing you that keeps me behind closed doors,
It’s being without you that has me on my floor.
It’s the hope that someday soon you will call,
It’s the disappointment that washes over me when I hear nothing at all.
It’s the fire burning deep within my heart,
It’s being without you that is tearing me apart.
It’s lying in my bed with thoughts streaming through my mind,
It’s the feeling of helplessness and being left behind.
It’s wandering the street across our hometown,
It’s the essence of you that is weighing me down.
It’s the wonder if you have these thoughts late at night,
It’s the feeling it isn’t over but for now it just isn’t right.
It’s the hope that someday you’ll see me the way I see you,
It’s knowing we’re a perfect union: a blending of two.
It’s catching my breath knowing you’re not there,
It’s knowing you left me and don’t seem to care.
(January, 2002)